Just thinking…

 

Just thinking how the world will turn out, after all the blues is over. Will it be green Or will it be red?

Just thinking how will the nature accept us, after all the blood our hands shed?

Just thinking how will we come across with the faces of ours, with the occupied minds being misread?

Just thinking how the waves will be in time , will they be silent or will they be overheard?

Just thinking how will the flowers bloom in this Era of gloomy mindsets?

Just thinking how will WE turn out to be, will we be HUMANS or yet another junkie following trends?

Just thinking how the world will turn out after all the blues is over.. Will it be green or will it be RED?

Just thinking……

 

~Riya

4th April 2020. I woke up this morning a bit late to usual as it is one of my work-from-home quarantine days that is happening 3 times a week during the nation-wide lockdown in India. Seeing the COVID-19 growth rate and all the negatively spread videos could spoil anyone’s mood for a beautiful day ahead. So I decided not to go through my social media-s ,first thing in the morning and instead look at some beautiful bird images clicked by me (which are finally processed and lying in my phone for quite some time now). So I picked up this very bright and multi-colored bird called Chestnut crowned laughing thrush, that I had taken various shots of in Neora valley National park. Talking of Neora valley, what reminds me of is the calmness in my mind that it gave me. That was a trek which will forever be in my memory as a treasure just for the silence it offers, the silence that Nature offers. So, looking at the image , I started thinking of a good caption to justify it (proving myself as an avid Instagram-er 😉 ). I kept thinking looking at the colors this bird possess simultaneously at the beautiful trees outside my window with the videos,I saw yesterday on the spread of corona virus in India, being mingling in the frontal lobe in one side of my cerebrum, I could come up with this ‘some-what-like-poetry’. Ths is not one of those days that I want to do a lot, but this is one of those days when I want to contribute a lot by doing nothing. You should do the same now too. Stay Home Stay Safe.

Untill next time

Much love

Riya ❤

Unusual aspects of being a banker… (let’s talk tuesday)

Yesterday, an often regular old lady entered the bank and the first thing she uttered was “Hey you are wearing a beautiful top that makes you look pretty”. I smiled and only smiled. I could hardly respond to her. Instead of feeling nice and happy about it, I slightly panicked inside. What I was taken aback with that she has grown old , we had some good moments and one day she will leave us all . I know this sounds weird to our ears when everyone knows its a fact, and still doesn’t like to be reminded . What this very little incident reminded me of that “There was this really really really nice lady customer who use to come to my  bank branch quite often , who had a loooong name . I called her Maria ma’am ( which was neither her first or last name, I liked it that way ) .She was  around 85 to 86 years old and had super glow with calmness on her face . Her personality somewhat personified my character( I think) . She seemed to be a satisfied person with children and grandchildren settled in country and abroad. She walked nice and tall for her age and took care of every banking need mostly on her own. She was too polite in nature. But why am I talking about her all this while ? Read on  ……

The thing with her was that i really liked whenever she came . No matter what the situation i am in she made me feel calm with just her presence . And the most significant thing was that she liked me the exact way back . Her job was mostly done by the branch manager but without fail , she came to me every time to talk to me for a few moments , while we looked at each other with Awe.

She was a real fan of the constant smile on my face and my cheerful attitude . Every time we talked , she cued me how delightful it is to feel the positivism and calmness when in the same room as me . Irrespective of the crowd handling and the other work pressures, I spread laughter that help her relax and vice versa. And I used to reply her with ” Your presence is the reason behind my smile and it usually broadens when you are around ” . She was really a nice lady with a warm cozy heart , I could feel that through the glass shield  between us.

A few days went by , I didn’t see her . One day one of her grandson came to deposit some cheque , I have seen him with her earlier, so I asked him about why isn’t she coming on her own , if she was okay due to her old age ?  What he replied was really hard for me to digest and I knew , maybe I would never see her again . She had throat cancer, last stage and due to the old age she couldn’t tolerate the chemotherapies as well . I showed my helpless concern and he left. A few weeks later he came again and this time before leaving the premises he came to my counter to forward the good wishes that directly came from Maria ma’am . He said that she was happy to hear from me .That was the very last time I heard anything from her. She couldn’t survive to see the new year calender of 2019 . She left us . What she left with me was her optimism towards life and the temperament that we shared .. I will always remember her.

And then comes the most sad part of being the banker , no matter how much you are emotionally attached to the person or how awful you feel , you have to do the banker’s job.We settled her death claim towards her children . I have always been this emotional kid , but only did I realize after joining a PSU , Where we directly connect to public and their almost personal lives. I had this type of connection with people in Kolkata before , but I had hardly imagined this would happen in a state where the language is also unfamiliar to me . I guess that sums up to just being me all the time .Its just me !!!!!

 

SHE ~ poetry

She
who is she?

She is the cloud covering the mountains,
She is the unreachable tip of the hill
She is the elevation.

She is the sparkles of the fire,
She is the dew on the leaves you can only admire
She is the feel.

She is the silhouette of the setting sun,
She is the closeness of moonlight companion
She is the silence.

She is the cherry on your ice-cream, that looks perfect un-eaten
She is the soap bubbles you cant catch,
She is the dream.

She is the twinkle of the stars,
She is the cold breeze you feel from far,
She is the bloom.

She is the unforgettable bite,
She is the warmth of blanket in cold night,
She is comfort.

She is the unread chapter of your story,
She is the hidden glory,
She is the mystery.

She is the bird that never returned home,
She is the long awaited wish,
She is the prayer.

She is the wing you want to fly with,
She is the vision you see beauty,
She is the first touch.

She is the salt in your food,
She is the drug on your wound,
She is the need.

She is the hug you live for,
She is the kiss you long for.
She is love.

She is the mist in the foggy night,
She is the arms you want to hold tight,
She is togetherness.

She is your cake, your tea
She is the basic,
She is luxury.

She is the sound of the waves,
She is the chirp you crave,
She is happiness.

She is the sweetest voice,
She is the kindest heart,
She is the longing.

She is the mermaid of your fantasy,
She is the star in your dreams,
She is Her.

Somewhere in the clouds
in the foggy mountains
in the salty oceans
you will find her.

Still the conclusion awaits.
Who is she?

~Riya

To be married_ emotions of a GIRL (Bengali write up)

Sorry to my non-bengali  friends. I really tried but couldn’t give these feelings beautiful English words and shape. My mother tongue is Bengali though I have never read/write the language in school or college. But the thoughts/views/emotions come really easy this way.

People who doesn’t understand this language refer to my amateur write up page- 

https://riyasownspace.wordpress/about/

Now let’s get into the mood. Calm..

                     ” Hoito ”  (may be)

“Aj shokal thekei money bhetor ta kemon aan Chan korche.Chokh duto pordar bhanj gulo te Jeno kichu khuje berachhe.

Kichu ki harate cholechi naki kichu orjon korte cholechi, konotai bhebe uthte parchina.

Moner bhetorer ghor ta te Jeno onek rongin phool phuteche.Phooler sugandhe jemon Chari pas ta sugondhito hoye geche temni Phooler daaler kanta gulo gendhe bosche booker bhetor. Se Ekta mishti  jontrona jetake kichutei dure thele rakhte parchina.

Sudhu bhebe cholechi sei muhurto tir Katha.

Aar toh ko Ekta din matro, tar por. Ki Hobe tar por. Aami ki ar aami thakbo? Naki harie jabo kothao tar prantore..

Shei Ekta khon, jar opekkha ke jane koto bochor dhore kore cholechi. Shei chotto bela theke koto golpo sunechi Raja rani ar pori der. Ebar amar pori sajar somoi. Kintu porider songsar ta kemon hoi koi seta toh kono golpe bole deini.

Koto proshno, tar koto uttor,nijei nijeke kore cholechi. Kokhon je surjo ta uthe dubeo gelo bujhtei parlam na.

Sudhu bhabchi tar bhalobasar Katha, tar preet-er katha, ar mone pore jachhe babar oi clanto mukh ta jokhon se amake bidei korbe. Amar mone phoolsojjar sopno ar tar mone bicched er byatha. Kikore parbe amar hath ta karur hath e tule dite. Chokher jol ta kichutei Chokher kon theke porte debe na ar mukh theke phute porbe bhalobasar Kota sobdo. Ar maa-er book ta tokhon gorbhe phoole uthbe amar kopaler lal rong ta dekhe.

Ar aami Sudhu cheye thakbo tar mukh tar dike. Tar chokher bhetor e sei bhalobasa ta khuje berabo. Se ki bujhbe amar ontorer obostha ta.

Hoito bujhbe hoito na. Ki jani….

Porer din doftarkhanae gie attendance register er opor nijer naam ta likhte gie ki pen ta atke jab? Mon ta thomke jabe kichukhon er jonno? Ki likhbo ami sekhane!  Amar naam ki?

Sobai amake notun chokhe dekhbe. Ekjon notun porichita aami tokhon. Sottyi ki taai? Aami ki notun hoye jabo? Aami ki ar aami thakbona? ”

This belongs to my diary entry dated 10.08.2015. A few days before my marriage registry. Hence I poured all my emotions/mixed feelings /dilemma of a girl who is about to get married,who is as happy to start a new life with her beloved partner and as sad to feel apart from her parents. I think every girl can relate to this at some point of time as she gets a new identity after her wedding whether she wants or not.

 Much love

Riya

I wish I had wings ~ Poetry

I wish I had wings
I wouldn’t have to hold on my feelings
I could fly away
Far far away
Away from all the facility
Away from the word called ‘society’

I wish I had wings
I wouldn’t have to answer every phone rings
I could reach the peak of a mountain
I could scream and burst the lava of anger in my fountain

I wish I had wings
I wouldn’t have to follow the proceedings
I could vanish from the world I live in
To make my own space in the submarine

I wish I had wings
So to not let anyone know my doings
I would be on my own
Fighting through the trees and clouds
At least would be better than the fake smiles and humanly moulds

I wish I had wings
I wouldn’t have to live inside buildings
I wouldn’t be anyone’s burden
I could make a living in a simple den

I wish I had wings
I could follow my emotional feelings
And listen to my heart
I could keep trying to reach the top
Doesn’t matter how many times I flop

I wish I had wings
I wouldn’t have any bindings
I could sit on any humps or horns
I wouldn’t had to face any real game of thrones

I wish I had wings
I wouldn’t have to fake my choice of lovings.
I could choose not to wear leathers
And proudly show off my colorful feathers

I wish I had wings
No One had to listen to the songs my heart sings
I could decide what for me is best
And could make my very own cozy nest

I wish I had wings
I would have no permanent bondings
I could feel free, fly free
And my attitude towards life could be care-free

But.

I am not a flying beauty
I Have no wings
Anyone bothers or not
I have to burden my personal belongings

I wish I had wings
I wouldn’t have to hold on my feelings…

~Riya

“Love or lust” – Poetry

Is this love or it is lust ?
I ask just why it is must?

If it was lust, it wouldn’t be you
It would be my greedy eyes on you

Then why don’t we leave a chance
To get done with the romance

It has to be one of the laws of attraction
Else why not I get the answer for my equation

I know this is wrong, just so wrong.
But day by day my feelings would only go strong.

I said this is for the time being, it will fade away
Because I never knew you will made my heart your forever stay.

When did it happen, when did we come close
Only to let you know the situation will become worse

It is possible by not meeting
But how to stop my heart from beating

Yes it is my heart , that looks out for you
With its every beat, it remembers you

Now it’s time.
To realise you are not mine
Always it hurts
May be little lessen with time

The only person should know this is you
Well you know, my heart belongs to you

Now it’s time for you to leave
As you loved me, that’s what I believe.

Much love

Riya

“He”_ The one (Poetry)

Amidst all the rush in our lives,

Amidst all the happiness and traumas,

All the losses and gains,

All the laughter and cries,

All the truths and lies,

All the causes and reasons,

All the feelings and emotions,

He comes and stays and makes them his own.

Your heart skips a beat and you know.

He is the keeper. He is the ONE

I wrote this for one of my closest friends who is getting engaged this November. I am happy she is happy 🙂

Much love

Riya

I am not suppose to be – poetry

I am me

I am myself

Do you have a problem with that?

Yes I m terrible,I do horrible things, but who doesn’t anyways.

I eat, I don’t

I bath,I dont

I talk,I do a lot

I study,I don’t

I sleep, I don’t

I dream,I do a lot

That’s what I have known being me,myself.

I think I am cute

I think people likes me

I think I am solved

I think I know where am I going

I think I love to work

I think people at work loves me

I think I have friends

I think friends think I am their friend

I think I am in love I think he loves me too

I think I miss my parents

I think my brother misses me too

I think I want to party

I think I can stay alone

I think I can take care of myself

I think I can shop alone

I think I like to cook

I think he loves to eat that

I think I am strong because I can’t b weak enough

I think I am funny because people laugh at me

I think I am stupid Because I dont think much before saying

I think I am smart because I know what am I doing

I think I love my job Because I can’t wait to be there

I think I hate my home Because loneliness kills me here

No..no it’s not the fact,

It’s what I think

But the fact is,

I know what I want

I know what I need

I know what I am supposed to be

At least I am not supposed to be alone At least that is not what I was meant for.

I wrote this when I stayed alone in kolkata in my initial years of service. I am happy Its not the case anymore

Much love

Riya

A dream to come true- Poetry

I woke up in the middle of the night,

To see you laying beside, all innocent.

I kissed your nose and reached your eyes,

U stared and said, What is it about hon? Is there something you want?

I said yes, I have a dream to come true

” A dream, In which I am unknown to the people, but you

In which no one knows me like you do.

I wanna be your life darling,

I wanna be your wife,

I wanna be the mother of your child.

Yes I have a dream to come true

A dream that completes with you. “

And you convinced as promising as ever,

My love, You will get everything you want

You will get the life of your chance.

And I kissed you again and slept in your arms.

That is what I remember as I woke up to see that you were gone.

I smiled As if you were ever here to be gone.

Yes I have a dream to come true.

A dream that is incomplete without you.

Riya