Hello guys, so it is 10 past 10 now and I finally sat with my laptop to talk to you all. Why today? Why Tuesday? I think Tuesday is one of the most monotonous days in a week. Monday blues are completely not gone plus the thought of a long working week ahead. Also I feel the most talkative on a Tuesday for no particular reason. Or may be because Talk goes well with Tuesday 😀 who knows ! haha… Anyways, jokes apart. Today is Tuesday and welcome to my 2nd episode of Let’s Talk Tuesday.
Newly married birds
Today’s talk is about the newly weds. Well you can take it as an advice (or experience talk :p) . No, I wont talk just too much because if I do, it will not be digestible to many as we all know everyone has their own way of viewing and taking things. This might be awkward or old fashioned but this is mine. So if you got married recently or going to,then just read on. Trust me you will agree to me at some point of time, may be today, may be somewhere in future.
About me: I am 28 and I got married at the age of 26 with my college buddy [a punjabi-bengali love marriage] with zero family issues. Now lets begin the talk.
Since a last few years, our generation of 90s kids has suddenly grown up and started to getting settled by buying houses, cars and starting a family. Well a few years ago was way too early for that. But still a few of my friends did. Some of them are parenting their toddlers now and it is really so good to see their happy families. Most of my friends who got married in the last 3-4 years almost had a love marriage, and it all seemed to me that marriage means love first and then a happily ever after ..la la la lallaaa…[ till I became one of them 😉 ].
Since last year, in India I am seeing new trend of this arrange-cum-love marriage. No offense to my beloved people. My brother and closest friends have done the same or on their way. It would be a such a whole new experience to fall in love with the one, you know you are going to spend your life with. Such fascinating, Isn’t it? I also found it the same and felt a little jealous of the newly buds falling in love and getting engaged and also very happy to see my people so happy. So what is my take on it? This all looks so ordinary and simple as arranged marriage has been a part of our history and lives for so long. So whats the new fuss? The new thing is social media and its role. Changing of status from single -to- engaged- to- married has become the main aim of our lives and getting numerous congratulatory messages. I also did,I also got (Don’t get me wrong on this, I have a little experience out of which I am speaking). No problem in that either.! Then what is the thing I am worried about that made me write this post. It is the HURRY. What is it that makes you intolerant about meeting your significant other? What is this rush of getting into the line of being called “love-birds” ? What is it that makes you crazy about going on-line and announce to the whole world that you have got the best spouse in the whole damn world?What is the excitement that you can’t hold inside and tell your partner in ears that “you love them” ? What is this trend of showing off? What do we want to show to and to whom? Everyone is doing the same thing. Isn’t it? Just that everyone has a different story but at last following the same path.
My take: A very simple and non-alcoholic advice to all of you going through this phase.
Just take it slow.. Just take it slow my friend. Your parents have found you the most suitable partner for you. Its one of the best things you have been offered. What you need to do is that take everything slow, slow as in into its own speed. There is no rush in falling in love. Love is not a race. Love happens eventually. Love takes way more time than we think it would. The first time we meet someone, we like them. Its all infatuation. The second time we meet them its the liking (simple physics of attraction). And for love, it takes way more than that. Years and years of understanding, dozens of each others habits, loads of fights and limitless romance. Best example most of us can find in our homes, in our parents.
When you will start to love their stinking feet and not just their odor , you will know you are in love. When you stop thinking about what you wanna eat,and starting making their favorite dishes without even asking, you will know you are in love. When their stupid annoying habits have started to annoy you back, you will know you are in love. When you see them changing and won’t feel like asking for more, you will know you are in love. When their attachment with their parents/friends wont hamper you anymore at all, you will know you are in love. When you look back and find that you don’t remember anything bad and remember just the good, you will know you are in love. When the day will come, YOU WILL KNOW YOU ARE IN LOVE.
Till then, just relax and go with the flow, don’t try to run or fly because we can’t. we simply can’t. Life is not a race and so is not marriage. Marriage is a collaboration of two souls who can tolerate each other till the end. And all that you have visualized about the happily ever after,etc,etc.. you will find its just a part of the long life. We just get someone to walk along it, thats it.
MARRIAGE is a MIRAGE
of distant love. In fact, marriage has got nothing to do with love. It only works when the mirage becomes real, else love is just the endless wait… the romance of eternal hope…
I would like to write a book on love and eternal hope someday…
Till then I wish you all a brilliant week ahead and be blessed. And oh ya happy married life to all my buddies.. Love you all..